where i am

I don't know where to begin with the whole thankful thing or how to possibly put into words the way this holiday that comes tomorrow leaves me.

deeply grateful.
Last summer, I taped off a little section of my whiteboard, wrote "Today I'm happy for:" in it, and every day I changed, in bright colored markers, the little things I was happy for. smiles from a stranger. free perfume samples. conversations with my twitter friends. It became a game...to see what I was going to write that day, and my family used to tease me: "Seriously Naomi, you're thankful for COLORED PENCILS?" That aside, my insatiable desire to express my love for every bit of life soon wore off and it wasn't long before I forgot to do it. And then, not soon after that, my cat jumped on my whiteboard and it broke, and I completely forgot about writing down my happies.

It's so easy to forget the little things that make life so much better. And even if it's corny, we should always take the time to recongnize small things that make us smile. Things like poptarts, stickers and pizza.

I've started two things recently that I'm excited to share with you all really soon. Like, maybe the words "Happy Box" and "Happy Book" will be thrown around. Enough said.

Anyways, after I started my "Today I'm happy for:" board, my family would give out suggestions as to what I could write.

"Write the names of some of your twitter friends instead of just saying 'twitter friends'." - Savanna

"Scarves and bracelets." - Mom

"Music." - brother

"Meow." - Joel (really, one day I was thinking about what to write and he jumped on to my bed and meowed at me. So, I wrote Joel's meows and his capability to express himself.)

gratitude is contagious.

...and, stopping to really think about what we're thankful for from poptarts to the grander glorious blessings of family and friends happens to be very enjoyable...and therapeutic, might I add.

and speaking of grand and glorious, tomorrow will be just that. I'm so happy for this holiday -- the day that we look at everything and realize just how blessed we really are, even if it sometimes doesn't seem that way.

while tempted to start plunking away a rote list of what i'm thankful for tonight, it seems a bit prosaic for this place i'm at tonight. and it's exactly that--not just a state of mind or an emotion that bears this unworthy cliche' title like 'gratitude' or 'thankful.' no, it seems an actual place. its own little latitude where i have settled and claimed residence and walked its paths and met its people. and it is a good place. a real place with, yes, some dark corners and fixer-upper fields. but, overall there is just so much beauty here...and the more i stay, the more i see.

the place of gratitude...of knowing where we've been and where we're going and in between all that, recognizing that where we are is important.

breathing it all in tonight.
where i am.

so, with all that wonder aside...

i am thankful.

for days like today and the ability to notice their beauty.

for feeling like i'm right where i'm supposed to be every day.

for a family who appreciates the little things as much as i do.

for being loved by so many.

for creative expression.

for bodies that do what we want them to...without limitations.

and i'm thankful for my friends. Both off and on the screen.

the embodiment of so much beauty and love and goodness in my life...and the fullness you all bring to my heart. i get to know you. i get to be with you, or talk to you every single day. i get to be your friend. there's only one friend of yours that's exactly like this...and it's me. I get to do it. I get to know you guys.

i'm so thankful for that.
If you live in the United States, have a very, very, very blessed Happy Thanksgiving. And even if you don't live in the United States... be aware. Be happy. Be thankful.

I love you all so, so, so much.

Enjoying the so-very-blessed holiday.

-naomi