Happy

Dear Liz, Clara, Thea, Mikayla, Grace, Amber, Brooke, Serena, Meenal, Sofi, Pauline, Omar, Montana, Claire, Chesca, Carina, Sofia, Olivia, Michelle, Eve, Daena, Katy, Hudson, Selina, Russell, Josie, Sofia, Taylor, Chris, Mary Paige, Sophie, Becca, Saanya, Dani, Keryna, Rafa, Beth, Georgia, Mila, Joyce, Mia, Laura, Ria and Ari,

Hello everyone! So the last time I did an all-call to the mutuals post, it was because everyone seemed so sad or lost or generally unhappy. So I wrote "Be Beautiful" for you guys and a lot of you said it helped you and that it came at the right time. The same thing has been happening this week and I really wanted to do this for you guys again. 

People often ask me how I'm always so happy and positive, and while that isn't always the case, I do try to be as full of life and grateful as possible.

Number one: if you want to be happy, you have to be happy on purpose. Abraham Lincoln said "most people are as happy as they've decided to be."

Number two: keep your life in the right perspective. Most of us have something to be happy about right now: our health, our friends, our family, or an opportunity. 

I've found we create much of our own unhappiness. We always see what's wrong rather than what's right. And I understand that sometimes it can be so, so hard to see the good in a situation. I understand because I've been there, and it's not fun. 

But here's what you need to do. Wake up in the morning and go through the day singing and enjoying life, regardless of the circumstances. That's how to start off each day. Put a smile on your face, even if it's fake. Fake it until it's real. Smiling tricks the body into feeling good. Go out into the day and be determined to enjoy it.

If it's a problem you have within yourself, look into the mirror and say "Listen here, self. Cheer up. Put on a new attitude. We're not staying down. We're not staying defeated." 

When dark clouds are over your head and you feel like life is depressing, always remember that right above those dark clouds the sun is shining. You may not be able to see the sun in your life right now, but that doesn't mean it's not up there. The dark clouds will not stay forever. The sun will shine in your life once again.

If it's a problem with other people, I have more to tell you about that because that's the pain I know. I've learned a few things about that.

What a person says about you does not define who you are. His or her opinion of you does not determine your self-worth. This person has every right to have an opinion, and you have every right to ignore it. I've found that some people feel it is their calling in life to point out what others are doing wrong and where others are missing it. They're constantly critical, always finding fault. Rise above that. You do not need them to agree with you. You do not need to win their approval. Let that go, and just be who you were made to be.

You don't have to respond to every critic. You don't have to prove yourself to them. Some who will cross your path simply don't want peace with you. No matter what you say or do, they will not be won over. Even if you were to change, they would still find some reason to be critical. You have to accept the fact that no matter what you do, some people will never be at peace with you.

When you have your strength under control, you realize "I'm bigger than this. I will not let them pull me down. I have places to go, goals to accomplish, dreams to realize."

Now how do I move forward without seeming jolting?

For me, a big part of being happy is about being grateful.

If you struggle with staying encouraged and staying grateful, make a list of everything you've been blessed with. If you have your health, write it down as an asset. If your vision is good, write that down too. The same with your school, your friends, your family. Make that list and then go over it throughout the day. One of my New Year resolutions is to write down at least one thing that made me happy that day.

You have to realize that every day is a gift. What a shame to live this day or any other day defeated, depressed, negative, complaining, with no enthusiasm. We all have obstacles. We all have things to overcome, but our attitude should be: "I'm not living this day sad or negatively or focused on what I don't have. I'm changing my perspective. Thank God I'm alive. Thank God I'm breathing. Thank God I'm healthy. Thank God for my family. I'm living every day to the fullest."

***

Remember to always be joyful and glad-hearted in rough times, because when you lose your joy, you lose your strength. You need your strength more than ever in these times, and your strength is dependent on your joy.

You can keep your joy by knowing that on the other side of every test is promotion. On the other side of every setback is opportunity. On the other side of every offense is growth. The difficulties you face are not there to defeat you. They are there to increase you. Just remember "Even though this is hard, even though I don't understand it, even though it's not fair, I'll keep a good attitude and stay full of joy, knowing that this is not setting me back. It is setting me up to get to the other side of this in an even better position."

We can all celebrate and be grateful when we're on the mountaintop, but where are the people who keep their happiness even as the bottom falls out? Where are all the people who wake up in the morning prepared for victory despite all the news reports predicting doom and gloom? I believe you are one of those people. I believe in you with great faith. Your roots go down deep. You're doing the right thing even though the wrong thing is happening.

You have to come to a place where you can say "I don't have to have my way to have a good day. My plans don't have to work out for me to be happy. Everybody doesn't have to treat me right for my life to be enjoyable. I have already made up my mind: No matter what does or doesn't happen, I will stay in peace and enjoy this day."

When a bus hits you and you're lying in the street, it might take you a little while before you can stand up again.
And sometimes, when you go to stand up, your legs won't come with you...because, well because they got hit by a bus.
So, you lie back down and absorb the feeling of that pavement and feel the pain a bit longer. But then you try again. Eventually, the feeling returns to your legs...even if it's temporary.

The thing is, I hate being sad. I hate being negative. And while I may be teased on my over-positivity, I too wallow in a bad mood from time to time. However, I've found I am quite healed by the Fake It Till You Make It Strategy--searching for the good (and there's lots to find), writing about the good, taking pictures of the good, talking about the good--basically bathing in the many little things that bring joy to our life until I am no longer faking it, I believe it completely and have allowed the good to rise above the bad in that ever present glass of "Half Full." Unrealistic? Perhaps, but I don't think so. Regardless, I'd much rather live life as an unrealistic optimist than a realistic miserable pessimist. It's so much more fun.

Thinking of any of you struggling or failing or being sad breaks my heart into a million pieces, so please, please try to use this post.

I love you all so much. I love you just the way you are. You can be annoying, awkward, difficult, loud, messy, stubborn, insensible, and good god you've been known to say strange things. But you make my life so much better. Thank you for making everything in this world more beautiful just by being you. You guys bring light to every little thing in my life. Because of you, I have a new found belief of goodness in the human race. I like to play the cool and confident role from time to time, but let's face it...no one is too cool or confident to not be affected in this extremely motivating and beautiful-self-worth way by the incredible things you have given to me in your words. And they are so incredibly touching. There's just so many good people who really do care about others who are hurting. You are honestly one of the main sources of my happiness. Thank you just for being you. I love you I love you I love you.

Love,

Naomi