Enjoying

So, I lied. While the yard writing temporarily rejuvinated my creative lull a few weeks ago, it was just that...temporary. Like a quick buzz off a few beers (or so I hear). Followed by a very un-creative hangover. I know I made it look alluring with all those pretty words and details...but it was just a high. And it crashed. I am officially proclaiming that my inspiration truck has broken down in the ebb region of the great town of ebb & flow. I got it running for a short time, but it putt out after a few miles. I've knocked on mechanics' doors, begging them to get me to flow. because I've been there...and I like it. But no one's open. I'm stuck in ebb. ...and it sucks.

So, I went for help. My friends Rafa and Sofia and Grace have these crazy good book recommendations because they are good strivers and better-ers and they will continue to be amazing. So, with urging from Grace a few months ago, I've decided I'm finally going to actually read Looking For Alaska, and then perhaps The Fault in Our Stars. (yes, I know... "2000 and late". Shut up.)

Anyways, other than uninspired, I'm also feeling relatively sad. Not "sad" really, but closer to that than anything. I laugh and joke and all that, but then sometimes I forget how to feel. Like, "oh my god, I hate my legs. Oh my god, I hate my hair. Oh my god, I hate myself. Oh my god, I suck." And the danger of those last two words? That danger is huge. It is deafening and paralyzing and I'm quite ready for it to go.

I have some proven remedies for certain emotions, and sometimes, it's hard to be sad when you're thankful. So, a traditional "Enjoying" post.


Enjoying...


California

It feels like late spring/early summer already. We've responded accordingly. Dresses and beach at night.


and...

Skype

Another proven remedy for "I suck": Skype with Claire. And another bonus came along with that already awesome activity. Skype with Grace for the first time.

She sounds like I thought she'd sound and acts like I thought she'd act.

She's groovy. I like her so much.

And Claire was lovely as usual. We talk about important things when we skype. Like how "Tobias" is pronounced and how it's hard to find sad bananas.

I like her so much. (also, she knows when I'm sad sometimes even before I do. And it leaves me all wth?)

Happy Monday. I have a huge to-do list. Be amazing, and I'll try to do it too.