In the World of Women

For as long as I can remember, I've heard the statements of doom regarding any girl who's entering the world of other girls. Like "Oh, you're going into middle school? Get ready for mean girls." And more recently "Oh, you're going into high school next year? Get ready for the mean girls," I've been advised. Without even thinking about it, I reflexively tense up, ready to go into bootcamp, anxious to prepare myself for this world of meanness -- to arm myself from these so-called "catty bitches".

Oh, to have a nickel for every time someone’s told me that girls are mean. The thing is, I’m a girl. And I’m tired of this collective statement about girls and women and the cloud of meanness that hangs above them when I know so many girls who prove this to be untrue. I’m not a catty bitch. And neither are the girls I know and love.

There’s no doubt I will encounter mean girls in life (I've already encountered a few), and I’d be lying if I told you I haven't experienced the daughter-of-mothers rite of passage of moms consoling crying girls who felt the sting of hurtful words. We’ve all been there. And perhaps, at some time in life, we've been the one to sting too.  But focusing on this meanness and using it to generalize this powerful world of femininity does nothing to empower me and the girls I care about and teach them what I know to be true—that women are amazing. And when they connect to support each other, when they open themselves up to learn from each other, when they take opportunities to celebrate each other’s unique contributions, a powerful force is unleashed—a motivating drive to move forward…together.

I’ve found this to be so true in my own life, specifically lately in the world of writing and blogging and most specifically Twitter, which is often (mis)construed as a microcosm of competition—a veritable breeding ground for mean girls, if you will. If that’s what you seek to find, then yes—you’ll find it. But let me tell you about a far more powerful force that dwells within this crazy thing we call Twitter. It’s the force of Empowering Women, and I’ve met them. I’m meeting them. They come with different ideas, they come with respect, they come with passion, creativity and the desire to see each other succeed because they know that if one succeeds, we all succeed. After all, we’re on the same team. And while my friends and I don’t necessarily agree on all issues or practice the same beliefs or like the same songs, have the same faves or write about similar topics, we understand what’s most important—that we belong to each other; that two voices are louder than one. Because of this, the great community of powerful women’s voices (that’s you and you and you) expands. And because of this, I can focus my direction in life not in safeguarding myself from mean girls but in a far more efficient use of energy—priming myself to be a supportive, kind woman who seeks opportunities to connect and relate with others.

I don’t know exactly how to teach this to the people I care about, but I do know that the best way to teach anything is to live it. My friends and family will see me embrace women with love. They will hear me talk about friends with kindness. They will watch me support, applaud, listen and learn; and through these experiences, I know they will inherit the tools they need to embrace women in their own lives. We need each other.

 



I will tell myself that the world is full of amazing, supportive women, because I've met them. I'll tell my friends the same thing when they think the opposite. And if it feels at times that those women are hard to find, I will tell them to look within themselves. Be that girl, always.

She is powerful and she is strong.
We are powerful and we are strong.