In the World of Women

For as long as I can remember, I've heard the statements of doom regarding any girl who's entering the world of other girls. Like "Oh, you're going into middle school? Get ready for mean girls." And more recently "Oh, you're going into high school next year? Get ready for the mean girls," I've been advised. Without even thinking about it, I reflexively tense up, ready to go into bootcamp, anxious to prepare myself for this world of meanness -- to arm myself from these so-called "catty bitches".

Oh, to have a nickel for every time someone’s told me that girls are mean. The thing is, I’m a girl. And I’m tired of this collective statement about girls and women and the cloud of meanness that hangs above them when I know so many girls who prove this to be untrue. I’m not a catty bitch. And neither are the girls I know and love.

There’s no doubt I will encounter mean girls in life (I've already encountered a few), and I’d be lying if I told you I haven't experienced the daughter-of-mothers rite of passage of moms consoling crying girls who felt the sting of hurtful words. We’ve all been there. And perhaps, at some time in life, we've been the one to sting too.  But focusing on this meanness and using it to generalize this powerful world of femininity does nothing to empower me and the girls I care about and teach them what I know to be true—that women are amazing. And when they connect to support each other, when they open themselves up to learn from each other, when they take opportunities to celebrate each other’s unique contributions, a powerful force is unleashed—a motivating drive to move forward…together.

I’ve found this to be so true in my own life, specifically lately in the world of writing and blogging and most specifically Twitter, which is often (mis)construed as a microcosm of competition—a veritable breeding ground for mean girls, if you will. If that’s what you seek to find, then yes—you’ll find it. But let me tell you about a far more powerful force that dwells within this crazy thing we call Twitter. It’s the force of Empowering Women, and I’ve met them. I’m meeting them. They come with different ideas, they come with respect, they come with passion, creativity and the desire to see each other succeed because they know that if one succeeds, we all succeed. After all, we’re on the same team. And while my friends and I don’t necessarily agree on all issues or practice the same beliefs or like the same songs, have the same faves or write about similar topics, we understand what’s most important—that we belong to each other; that two voices are louder than one. Because of this, the great community of powerful women’s voices (that’s you and you and you) expands. And because of this, I can focus my direction in life not in safeguarding myself from mean girls but in a far more efficient use of energy—priming myself to be a supportive, kind woman who seeks opportunities to connect and relate with others.

I don’t know exactly how to teach this to the people I care about, but I do know that the best way to teach anything is to live it. My friends and family will see me embrace women with love. They will hear me talk about friends with kindness. They will watch me support, applaud, listen and learn; and through these experiences, I know they will inherit the tools they need to embrace women in their own lives. We need each other.

 



I will tell myself that the world is full of amazing, supportive women, because I've met them. I'll tell my friends the same thing when they think the opposite. And if it feels at times that those women are hard to find, I will tell them to look within themselves. Be that girl, always.

She is powerful and she is strong.
We are powerful and we are strong.

where there is love there is life

I've been sucked in. I joined Pinterest and and Spotify in one weekend, and now I might as well just sell my soul to the devil. Or maybe listen to my Inspired playlist while I mod podge frames and pin cute vintage shoes.


*****

Thank you, mutuals, for all of your comments and help regarding my last post and my tweets lately. All of you really help me a lot you know. The goodness and beauty that you possess is what centers me. You remind me of everything beautiful in the world.

You can't effectively move forward in life unless you have those moments of letting yourself feel the darker side of reality once in a while. I do that, you know. Maybe not publicly every time, but I'm human (if you don't count the unicorn gene). And even after those moments of pushing the bruise to feel the pain, I smile and think to myself...Life is so very rich. Even with the challenges.


Anyways, sad or not, we love love. And any excuse to celebrate it more than it's already celebrated around here...we're so on it.

Not to mention, I like pink.

So, I'm going to look like a pepto bismol ad tomorrow.

Celebrating love.


5 things I'm really in love with right now:

1.) Being told by my english teacher that I'm very "vibrant" and that it shines in my writing as well as outside of it. Vibrant, thank you. Thank you very very much.

One day when I die I want she was vibrant. oh, and she loved. written on my gravestone.

2.) Dancing in the living room to Katy Perry and catching a glimpse of my "moves" in the mirror and laughing hysterically at just how stupid I look dancing alone.

3.) I found a new anthem. Strangely, One Republic brings peace. Because "This is gonna be a good life" makes me think it is gonna be a good life. And we dance and laugh and tell ourselves that our life is simply fabulous. Because it is.

4.) I went running Tuesday night and this afternoon. It's so rejuvinating and stress relieving, it's insane. I know -- "ew, running? wth naomi." No, really. You should try it.

5.) The prospect of break next week. One more day and then all week off. Because some really important and great presidents were born in the same week, and we have some people who are quite patriotic, and that's completely fine. Any excuse to celebrate and, you know, take a break off of school. Thank.

Have a great weekend. And a lovely Valentine's Day.

Enjoying

So, I lied. While the yard writing temporarily rejuvinated my creative lull a few weeks ago, it was just that...temporary. Like a quick buzz off a few beers (or so I hear). Followed by a very un-creative hangover. I know I made it look alluring with all those pretty words and details...but it was just a high. And it crashed. I am officially proclaiming that my inspiration truck has broken down in the ebb region of the great town of ebb & flow. I got it running for a short time, but it putt out after a few miles. I've knocked on mechanics' doors, begging them to get me to flow. because I've been there...and I like it. But no one's open. I'm stuck in ebb. ...and it sucks.

So, I went for help. My friends Rafa and Sofia and Grace have these crazy good book recommendations because they are good strivers and better-ers and they will continue to be amazing. So, with urging from Grace a few months ago, I've decided I'm finally going to actually read Looking For Alaska, and then perhaps The Fault in Our Stars. (yes, I know... "2000 and late". Shut up.)

Anyways, other than uninspired, I'm also feeling relatively sad. Not "sad" really, but closer to that than anything. I laugh and joke and all that, but then sometimes I forget how to feel. Like, "oh my god, I hate my legs. Oh my god, I hate my hair. Oh my god, I hate myself. Oh my god, I suck." And the danger of those last two words? That danger is huge. It is deafening and paralyzing and I'm quite ready for it to go.

I have some proven remedies for certain emotions, and sometimes, it's hard to be sad when you're thankful. So, a traditional "Enjoying" post.


Enjoying...


California

It feels like late spring/early summer already. We've responded accordingly. Dresses and beach at night.


and...

Skype

Another proven remedy for "I suck": Skype with Claire. And another bonus came along with that already awesome activity. Skype with Grace for the first time.

She sounds like I thought she'd sound and acts like I thought she'd act.

She's groovy. I like her so much.

And Claire was lovely as usual. We talk about important things when we skype. Like how "Tobias" is pronounced and how it's hard to find sad bananas.

I like her so much. (also, she knows when I'm sad sometimes even before I do. And it leaves me all wth?)

Happy Monday. I have a huge to-do list. Be amazing, and I'll try to do it too.

Good Begets Good. Always.

I know within five minutes of waking up on a Monday where my take on the day stands—a chipper cheerleading "Yay Monday! (Cat Valentine voice thing starts) Blank Slate! Let’s go!" pep rally or a surrender to the little devil on the other shoulder—the one who wants to drop-kick the "Yay Monday" girl to China and drown her out with, "You. Have. SO. Much. To. Do. Stop with the happy." 
Monday Downer Devil is a pom-pom stealer.

Internal scan during hot chocolate and journal writing Monday morning revealed Pom-Pom Stealer was in the house, a mutual feeling among friends, confirmed with tweets and kik messages. While I accept the fact that every day doesn't look like "Go Team, Go!", I'm at least going to make some efforts to resuscitate the kick-off to a perfectly good week. And I certainly did do that so far. (obligatory Super Bowl kick-off reference.)

Operation Get My Pom-Poms Back was a simple implementation of good choices.  We try and make good choices every day, but when I'm feeling like my pom-poms are M.I.A., I take extra efforts for a full Good Choice Juice Cleanse--flood the gates with good and detox the ick. Every time I implement this strategy, good comes flyin' back like a boomerang, always a confirmation that there is something greater in this world orchestrating all of these beautiful little things, and it matters...all of it matters.

I gave some time to some difficult decisions this week.  Knocked off a few procrastination tasks. I sent encouraging anonymous asks to friends who needed love (always makes me feel better. If you're sad or uninspired, throw a lift to someone else).  I turned my tablet off for a good chunk of  Monday--like not just put it away, but swiped that little "power off" button.  I changed the music so classics drenched our home.  I read books on the floor and ate brownies and when my sister asked for yet another one of those brownies I gave them to her and felt good doing it because it was juice cleanse week.  I went for a run tonight, and when I skipped into our driveway after the run, I skipped right back out to keep it going because it felt amazing.


And just when I was feeling all, "Uuughh, Internet," I went through my interactions and smiled at all the reminders of good tonight--these wonderful connections we can make and the stories of love and determination that continue to show up.  There was a whole slew of little boomerangs in my interactions today. Like a vine that made me smile, and a Claire ask.fm answer that made me smile, and a conversation with Keryna that's making me smile right now. Good begets good.  Always.

Cheerleader girl is back and high-kicking.

All of that goodness fell into place tonight.  
Translation:  I found my pom-poms.  
And good begets good.  Always.

Mary Oliver said it best.  Here's a wonderful affirmation to start a Monday:  
(It works good for Tuesdays too.  And Wednesdays.  And Thursdays.)

“Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields...Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness.”   

I'm happy, thank you.